Meeting the Myers

   As many of you saw from my facebook post earlier this week I was REALLY excited about meeting Cain and Tiffany Myers. I wanted to take a minute to share with you exactly why meeting them meant so much to me. As most of you know I have been on this weight loss journey for quite some time now. As I have shared in previous post some of my biggest struggles in this journey have been consistency, fear, lies, failure, and disbelief. When their episode aired I was really struggling with all of these struggles but the biggest being disbelief. I have been overweight for most of my life so that is all I know of me. I have never known myself to be a "skinny" or "thin" person. I don't know what my body looks like at a smaller size and honestly it is very hard to picture myself there. As I was watching their episode I can remember looking at them and thinking "Eh they're not that big. I mean yeah they're overweight but they aren't that bad." As I continued to watch them transform and then saw their final weigh in with a side by side picture of their before and after I was amazed! My eyes were opened to the fact that I all to often see myself as "not that big" when in reality I am sitting in the obese range. As I watched Cain and Tiffany transform their lives something clicked in me that if they could do it then I could do it to. Honestly, I don't know what was different about their episode than any of the other ones but it was a game changer for me. Shortly after watching I reached out to Cain and Tiffany through facebook. I was able to share some of my story with them and they have been so helpful and encouraging to me. One of the the most helpful bits of advice they gave me was "Its not about the end result, but about making each day count. We have overcome many of the same issues and for us the key was finding personal integrity and becoming people who keep promises." In Chris Powell's book "Choose more, Lose More for Life" one of the biggest things he talks about for success is keeping promises to yourself. It is so easy to make and keep our promises to others, but we so quickly break our promises to ourselves. This has been something that I have been trying to work on. This accompanied with stopping and praying through each temptation. This has been so hard especially with my move to New Orleans. I try to remind myself through each temptation that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. When I ran into Cain and Tiffany this past weekend I was at a point of defeat. I moved to New Orleans mid August and I feel like I have not stopped eating out since. I have not been making good food choices and I had come to a point of defeat and not being able to see the end result any longer. Meeting them was like a new burst of energy. Getting to see their results in real life and talk to them helped me to wake up and believe in myself again. It reminded me that if they could do it then so can I!! The following day I picked right back up where I was supposed to be in my training for my half marathon. The longest run I had done before Sunday was probably a 5 or 6 miler. Sunday night I got out and pushed myself to complete 9 miles. When I would get tired or begin to hurt I continued to remind myself that if they can do it, so can I. I CAN be healthy! I CAN be thin! I CAN reach my goal weight!  I CAN continue to live a healthy lifestyle and stop this teeter totter business! I CAN be consistent! I CAN be a motivator! I CAN be an inspiration to others! I CAN be an example for others!  I CAN do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me strength! 
   A couple of weeks ago I reached out to them yet again and asked them how in the world do they survive living in this city and remain healthy. They gave me some awesome advice which I have twisted after meeting them. Now when I go out to eat with friends my mindset is what if Cain and Tiffany walked in here right now? Would they be proud of me for what they see on my plate or would I have to sit there and justify myself? If I would have to sit there and justify why I ordered what I did or if I know I would feel shame for them seeing it then that is not a good option and I should probably order differently. I really do think this will help me to order healthier meals when eating out. I have to constantly play mind games with myself throughout this journey and this is my newest game.
   So to Cain and Tiffany. Thank you so much for being such an inspiration. Meeting you meant the world to me. The Lord was so sweet to provide our meeting at the perfect timing. I am excited for y'all as y'all are training for your first half marathon. I hope y'all get the itch for another and maybe we can run one together some day ;) I look forward to seeing y'all around the city. I know the journey that y'all embarked on a year ago was one of the toughest journeys but seeing y'all finish strong gives me hope and belief in myself so thank you :)

Nixing the Negative

     I am currently reading the book Calm My Anxious Heart with my bible study. The book is about finding contentment in all of life's circumstances. The chapter we read this past week encouraged us to make a list of the negatives and the positives that we think about ourselves. As I began to think of the negative things I say my weight was one of the things that came up. While most of the time I remain positive reminding myself of all of my hard work and how far I have come I also allow the negativity to sneak in. I often find the negativity sneak in when I am getting dressed to go somewhere. If I can wear shorts and a t-shirt I am golden but if I have to wear anything else the negativity quietly and quickly sneaks in. I will change my shirt 50 times thinking I look fat in whatever I put on so I hide behind a cardigan and scarf. Now that the weather is warming up it is very difficult to hid behind anything. As I wrote down some of the negative things I followed them with positive thoughts such as I am blessed to have grown up in a family where my parents could afford to feed us. I am blessed to be able to work 3 jobs now to be able to afford to live on my own and feed myself healthy foods. I am blessed with the love for cooking. I am blessed that someone has gifted me with the gift to continue attending weight watchers meetings. I am blessed with the supportive community that I have from other weight watchers members, family, friends, and coworkers. I am blessed with friends who encourage me along the way especially when I am feeling down. I could go on and on for days with my blessings. We have to choose to nix the negative and give all of our negative thoughts to Christ. We have to choose to be thankful for all of our circumstances in our lives, no matter how hard they may seem.  We can do this because we know that  we have a God who loves us unconditionally and is working all things together for the good of those who love Him. "Beware of what you dwell on for that you shall surely become." We become what we think friends! Be careful with your thoughts. Turn your negative into positive. Praise God for where you are in your life and continue to lean on Him for strength. I have not come this far in my journey by my own strength. My strength comes from the Lord and for that I am forever grateful! Whenever you begin to think negative thoughts about your own body or life reflect on Psalm 139. Know that God created you and knitted you together in your mothers womb. Know that He knows every detail of your life and loves your with an everlasting, unconditional love. Know that He has a plan and purpose for your life. Rest in His strength, faithfulness and love. 

"For you formed my inward parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

    my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

    the days that were formed for me,

    when as yet there was none of them."

                                                              -Psalm 139:13-16

New, Exciting Adventures!!!

      I honestly feel as if I have been waiting for an eternity to post this blog. Now that everything is official I have some very exciting news to share with everyone! I will be moving to New Orleans in the fall to begin seminary at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary (NOBTS)!!! If you remember in previous blogs I've told you about my passion for childhood obesity. The Lord placed this on my heart about two and a half years ago. I began praying that the Lord would direct my steps and that I would wait on Him patiently. I had big dreams and visions but no clue how to get to where I was envisioning. I can specifically remember  sitting in my room one night in October praying "Father, let me not be afraid to pray the impossible." As I prayed this short prayer I was sitting in front of the world map that I have on the wall of my room and with open arms and an open heart I told God that I wanted to be obedient and go where he would lead me no matter how scary it looked. For so long I have been praying that God would open doors for my passion but I kept telling myself I would have to wait for certain things to happen to get to where I wanted to go. I found myself often saying that when I got married and had kids I would fulfill my passion through my kids and their peers. As I prayed that night God placed seminary on my heart. If I'm being honest I have to admit I was scared out of my mind and was arguing with God. I continued to pray hoping I was not hearing clearly. See, the thing that scares the daylights out of me about seminary is that I am not a reader. The reason I do not like to read is because I have a very hard time comprehending what I read which is why I failed the reading part of the Praxis 7 times (yes, you read correctly I said 7). I began to ask different friends about seminary that I knew had already gone. There was something that one of my friends said that I will never forget. The reason I will never forget her words is because that was the night that I stopped fighting God and rested in Him and His perfect plan for me. She told me that if God is calling me to seminary He will equip me and give me the knowledge that I need to get through. Every struggle and battle that I face will be all for His glory! This whole time I was thinking about how I couldn't make it through seminary but that is because I was thinking of my own strength. I can not and will not make it through seminary on my own strength. It will fully be the strength of the Lord that pulls me through. 
      My vision is to help fight childhood obesity. I want to help make families aware, and get kids moving. I honestly picture myself doing some type of activity with the kids where we run around and look completely crazy but are having so much fun that the kids don't even realize they are exercising. I want to find something that is comfortable for all kids to do. When you are battling obesity your self confidence can be so low. I want to get kids involved in fun activities that help boost their self confidence. Having fought childhood obesity I know the side effects that comes with it. Kids are battling things such as low self esteem, no confidence, suicide thoughts and/or attempts, never feeling loved (not even by family members), never feeling accepted, absolutely hating themselves and so on. Here is where seminary will come in. I want to be able to help kids with these struggles. However, I don't want to give some worldly advice but I want to be able to share the gospel with them and let them know that they are fully loved and accepted by Christ. This was honestly the only thing that pulled me through my struggles. Praise the Lord for FCA where I constantly heard the gospel preached week after week and God slowly began to chisel the hurt in my heart. I learned to love myself, accept myself and believe that I was beautiful once I honestly and truly believed that Christ loved me and genuinely saw me as His beautiful daughter. While the gospel is such an important message that we share I want to be able to relate it to the kids as best as possible. Having worked with children almost my entire life I know how much children cling to your every word. When telling children about Christ you are helping to build a foundation of what they are to know about Him. If I am going to pour my heart out into these children and make this a ministry I want to be able to share with these kids in the most effective way possible. I want to help build a strong and steady foundation and not a shaky one that will crumble. 
      I am so excited about this opportunity that the Lord is providing for me! If you will, please be praying with me and for me as I will be moving to a new city and beginning a part time job as I go to school full time. I am continuing to pray for the Lord's provision financially. I am so thankful and encouraged by all of the encouragement and support that I have received from friends and family this far. I am excited to embark on this journey and grow to know my sweet, sweet Savior deeper. These next few years will be challenging but sweet. Let the adventures begin. Get ready NOLA because here I come!!! 

30 Days of Whole 30

       Ah day 30! The day I thought I would be more than thrilled to see. Truth is I have absolutely loved doing Whole 30 and am looking forward to keeping up this lifestyle. The other truth/confession is I didn’t strictly make it to day 30. Day 16 was my first “cheat meal.” We had a training for work at Elegant Affairs and lunch was provided for us. I ate what was given to us including the chocolate cake for desert..oops! My next “cheat meal” was day 24. I was out of town all day at a baby shower. I went in with the intentions of doing well there but then I was asked to stay and hang out for the night. I was gone from home from 11am-10pm. I wasn’t about to sit there and starve myself because I didn’t have whole 30 approved foods. If there is anything I learned from weight watchers it was that you make the best choices possible. Those two cheat days were followed by 3 major cheat days. This past week I was in Orlando for 3 days straight for a training. I tried to do the best I could when ordering my food. I sat in a very overwhelming training from 9-5 each day so by the time I got out I wanted something good to eat. It’s no secret that I’m an emotional eater. The first night that I flew in my plane got in around 10:30pm. I hadn’t eaten since lunch and was outrageously hungry. I asked my cab driver to take me anywhere that was open which lead us to a McDonald’s drive through. At this point I was so hungry I didn’t care what I ate as long as I got some food in my system. I did pretty well when ordering lunch each day but dinner is where things got crazy. The first night I had a turkey burger with sweet potato fries. The second night I had an extremely rough day and wanted to order every single thing on the menu (bring on the emotional eating). I had a cuban sandwich with sweet potato fries and desert. The third day was airport food for dinner. Now that I’m back home things are super tough because I don’t have any food in my fridge. I plan to go grocery shopping this weekend and restock and start fresh! When I tell you I paid for each and every meal I am not exaggerating one bit. My stomach has been so messed up for the past few days. I am excited to be home and back on program. I have never been so excited to eat such good, clean foodJ

                Here’s my thought on the days that I had to eat off of the whole30 program. As I have said before I plan to keep up this way of eating past the 30 days. Realistically things in life are going to come up. There will always be meetings, birthday parties, baby showers, wedding showers, etc. I am not going to sit there and deprive myself and make myself sick because I am hungry but can’t eat. There will be times when I will have to eat processed foods and THAT’S OKAY!  I follow a lot of people on social media that are also doing whole30. I recently saw someone post a picture of a calendar for the next few months. They wrote down the dates that they were going to have to eat off program. They had days marked that had things such as birthday parties or showers. She was allowing herself a treat for that day and eating clean the rest of the time. I LOVE that idea. Like I said, I will never not eat another processed food again. I will also never starve myself because of my limited options available. The moment I get to the starving point is when things get out of control and I can’t stop eating. This is a lifestyle change, not a 30 day change. Let’s be real, my birthday is next week and if you know anything about me you know I like to celebrate my birthday for about a week straight J I have already planned out my celebration days and am already thinking ahead of what I will allow myself to eat. This is life. Things will come up and you have to learn how to deal with it in the best way possible. These past few days of eating off program have reminded me of the lifestyle that I do not want to go back to. I am very thankful for that reminder.  I’ll be turning 27 next week and I am very excited about it. 27 will be a year of a lot of change and challenges. My goal is to hit my goal weight this year. I am determined and focused. My deal with myself is that when I hit my goal weight I am rewarding myself by going skydiving ( I know, I know..you think I’m crazy but that’s because I am :)) Skydiving is on my bucket list for my 27^th year of life so it looks like I need to get busy! J I have been saying for quite some time now that 27 is my year. I don’t know what it is about 27 but I am super excited about this year of life. I look forward to pushing through the trials and bumps that it will take to get to my goal. You can mark my word and hold me accountable..I WILL REACH MY GOAL IN MY 27^TH YEAR OF LIFE!!! I’m not kidding when I say hold me accountable. Have a great day friends J

Eleven Days In

     Well, I made it 11 days into Whole30 and so far and I feel AMAZING!!!!!! I am eating a ton of food and drinking a ton of water, coffee and hot tea. I am never not satisfied. Now, like I said in my first post, I had been preparing myself mentally for about a month before I started. I am eating things that I love and learning to like new things. I am seeing unhealthy habits that I had that a little restriction is helping me to break. Let me break it down for you:

Likes and dislikes:

• I really enjoyed the chicken fajitas that Amanda made for us
• I really did not like the zucchini fettuccine with rosemary butternut creme sauce that I made but Amanda really liked it so it wasn't a total flop
• I really enjoy my scrambled eggs, diced sweet potatoes and fruit in the morning with my coffee
• I'm enjoying larabars as a quick on the go snack but trying to learn not to be to dependent on them
• I made mashed garlic cauliflower. I liked it but I didn't love it. I would probably make it again but it's not an "omg I must have this with my meals" type food
• I now like adding oil to my foods- that was one of the biggest problems I had with getting all of my healthy checks with Weight Watchers..I never added oil to anything because I didn't like it
• I now like hot tea with no sweetener! 
• I LOVE the chicken I just prepared for my upcoming week! I put some unsalted almonds in the food processor. I used the crushed up almonds to coat my chicken. I sprinkled a little oil and Tony's on the chicken and BAM! the best dang chicken you will ever eat!!!  

Habits in need of breaking:

• This past weekend I was at my parents house. If you know anything bout my mom's house you know that it is full of junk. There is a huge candy bowl that you see immediately when you walk through the door. I never realized how bad my habit of reaching into that jar was until I walked in this weekend. Literally the SECOND I walked in my hand reached for the bowl. Every single time I walked in and out of the house I was reaching and not even thinking about it. It's funny how when you can't have something you realize how much you do or don't really want it. I didn't really want the candy I was just reaching out of habit and being bored. It wasn't easy but I successfully stayed on track and made it out of that house alive! 

When I got back to my apartment after visiting my parents I was HUNGRY!! I opened my fridge and cabinet and what was I hoping to find?!? JUNK! Don't ever let yourself get that hungry!!! Junk food is the quickest thing to grab when you reached the point of "I will eat my own limbs I'm so hungry." Thankfully I had completely cleaned out before starting whole 30 and had no junk to snack on. I grabbed some almonds, a larabar, carrots, cherry tomatoes and popcorn. Obviously not all at one time but throughout the hours.  I wasn't able to go grocery shopping until today so I had to make do with what I had.

Things Im loving: 

• OH MY GOODNESS I LOVE THE WAY I'M FEELING!!!!
• My energy level has sky rocketed!
• My time with God has been so  much sweeter because I'm not dead tired trying to read His precious word!
• I'm sleeping so much better!
• My attitude is so much better! 
• I'm moving more! 
• The scale!! I'm down 7 pounds already :)

Well 11 days in and I'm LOVING it! Im looking forward to see what the next 19 days has in store for me. 

Whole30

        Oh how I love the holiday season! I love reflecting on my sweet savior and what His birth means. I love spending so much time with my family. I love visiting my friends while I am off of work for two weeks and of course I love all of the yummy food that we get to eat. Each year around this time I try to tell myself that I won't do that bad and I'll try my hardest to stay on track. Well this year I most definitely did not stay on track. I ate like there was no tomorrow. I went to visit some friends in Cincinnati and I feel like all we did was eat and boy was the food yummy! They were so sweet to bring me to some of their favorite places to eat so that I can try their yummy food. I now know what they feel like when they come down to visit New Orleans every summer. 

    I really let go of control right after Thanksgiving. I was so proud of myself for not stuffing myself Thanksgiving day which was definitely a first. However, not long after Thanksgiving day I began eating like I used to several years ago before I began weight watchers. I began feeling sluggish, tired, no energy, cranky, no motivation, you name it I was most likely feeling it. I hated the way I was feeling yet I continued to eat horribly. For awhile now I have been telling some friends and family that I wanted to cut out processed foods and eat clean. After about a month of eating terribly I've decided there is no better time than now to start living that way. I have been prepping myself to begin Whole30 on January 1st for a few weeks now. 

    A couple of months ago my roommate began doing Whole30. I had heard of the program before and had considered doing it several months before that. When I mentioned it to others they laughed at me and told me good luck. I was trying to talk myself into doing it but with little support around it was hard to find the motivation. After watching my roommate complete the 30 day challenge I saw that it was doable and the food actually tasted good. Yes, it is very strict...NO SUGAR, NO DAIRY, NO GRAINS, NO BEANS, NO ALCOHOL, NO PROCESSED FOOD, NO CHEATING! What?!? That's some of my favorite things to consume! But, when I read success stories and hear all of the benefits of completing the 30 day challenge it is totally worth it. I am looking forward to feeling so much better! Of course I am excited to loose weight but I am even more excited to feel so much better, to have more energy, to be less tired, to sleep better, and for my face to clear up. For 30 days I will strictly follow the program without cheating! The only thing I will cheat on is weighing myself. One of the rules is to not step on the scale for 30 days but being that I weigh in weekly at weight watchers that will be kind of hard to avoid. My roommate, her sister, and her husband are also doing Whole30 at the same time. Motivation and support are key! Along with those around me I follow several different people on Facebook or Instagram that are also doing it. It is so fun to see others post of what they are eating and the progress they are making. I love getting different meal ideas from other people so that I don't get stuck cooking the same thing over and over. 

    After the completing Whole30 I plan to continue eating paleo. Like I said before, I have been wanting to clean up my eating for a long time now. I want to make it a way of life. I do not plan to be as strict as I will be during Whole30 but I will most definitely continue to eat very clean and unprocessed. I look forward to sharing my results with you in 30 days :) 

13.1 Times 2

So many people continue to ask me how in the world do I complete 13.1 miles or 2 hours and 39 minutes of running. Well let me tell you this is not an easy task. It takes months of preparation and a lot of discipline. I began training during this past summer. I had to change some of my finances around so that I could join a gym because running outside in the summer in Louisiana is just down right BRUTAL! I made a schedule and knew that if I wanted to run my best race that I would need to follow this schedule pretty closely. By joining a gym I was able to also add in weight lifting and workout classes. These are so important to your training to build up your muscles to help you run better and prevent injury. There were many of days that I did not feel like working out. At one point I started to get really lazy and skip runs and workouts. My roommate and I made a schedule in which we committed to which days we were going to work out that week. If you skipped your committed day you had to pay the other person $20. Talk about motivation! I refused to pay her for my laziness.

Then comes race day. There is no better feeling than standing at the start line with thousands of other runners on race day. Your adrenaline is pumping along with everyone around you. You have all put in hard work to prepare for this day and are all working to cross the finish line at the end. Each race I run I try to find someone around me to keep up with. I try not to let that person out of my sight and use them as an anchor to not stop running.  Not only do I use others around me but I also use scripture as my strength and anchor. Here is the verse that stuck with me throughout the race:

“forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 3:14-14

Running is very mental. Yes you have to train and build up your muscles but a very large part of it is mentally pushing yourself through. From the very beginning of the race I told myself that there would be a lot of ups and downs throughout this race. There will be times when I am tired and hurting and feeling like I couldn’t run one more step but those are the times when you have to push your hardest to get through. I continued to go back to how many times Jesus was mocked, laughed at, rejected, beaten and fell down yet he never gave up. He never said “Man this is to hard. I think I’ll just stop now.” When we are witnessing to others and they continue to shut us out or when we face a trial of any sort, or a loved one dies or turns their back to Jesus we can’t just throw in the towel and give up. We have to keep fighting and sharing the good news that the Lords has given us. We have to trust that Jesus is sovereign and loving and forgiving and that he will pull us through the tough times. He is our strength and comfort and will NEVER abandon us. We are all aiming for one goal, one prize and that is eternity with Jesus. He never promised us that life would be easy or trial free. But he did promise us His strength, His love, His truth, and His grace! So every time I felt as if I was to tired to run another step in my race I thought of the trials that Jesus brought me through. Trials where I felt like I had nothing left in me to continue pressing forward yet Jesus gave me the strength and carried me through. He carried me through all the way to the finish line on Saturday and he will carry me through all the way to the finish line when my time here on earth is through and I get to go home with Him for all of eternity.

Thank you for all of the support and encouragement that I have received from all of you throughout my training and on race day. I am not done yet. I will be running another half marathon in January at the Louisiana Marathon. Please pray that I do not have any more injuries during training and that I can remain disciplined not only in my running but also in my everyday life.