As I sit at home for the 3rd day in a row with this nasty virus I figured I could at least do something productive and update my blog lol. As I just scrolled through old pictures on facebook for probably the last 30 minutes I was brought back to what I used to look like and to be honest I was disgusted. I think for a short while recently I forgot just how far I have come (-50lbs). I have been slacking so bad lately and hurting to find the motivation I need. Well, after looking at these old pictures and being reminded of where I came from I was also reminded of where I absolutely, positively do not want to go back to. Now, am I going to sit here and cry about the lack of motivation I've had lately or the fact that I am not where I wanted to be by now? ABSOLUTELY NOT! I'm taking this time to praise God that he alone has given me the strength to come this far and he alone will give me the strength I need to continue in this journey. My slacking began when I stopped praying through each food decision, when I began running to food again for comfort rather than the Lord, and when I just jumped into temptation without stopping to consider the consequences. Simply put, my poor choices began and have continued when I am relying on the things created more than the creator Himself. Now don't get me wrong, I would go through phases. I would read one of my books or be in prayer and would rock it out for awhile but as soon as I stopped praying through each decision I started choosing unwisely. Knowing myself I know that the "good tasting," unhealthy food is like a drug to me. If it is in front of me it's like I loose all self control. Knowing this I know that I have to wake up each day and pray for strength from the Lord to choose foods that are beneficial to my body and to be able to walk away from the things not beneficial for me. I know that before each meal I need to pray that I can fight the screaming inside my head to choose unhealthy food choices and win the battle by choosing foods that will be most beneficial to me. This is not an easy battle and I have been fighting it for a long time now, but I know it's a battle I can win and it's a battle worth fighting. I know that I can win this ferocious battle because "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Praise God that I have a savior who loves me and who will not leave me out on the battlefield alone to fight by myself.
As I fight this battle that I know many others fight I ask for prayer from you, my dear friends, to stay strong and guarded and to never stop fighting. Food has been around my entire life thus far and it will be around until the day I die. There is no escaping it so all I can do is pray and fight to make healthy choices and to glorify God in everything I do. I pray that others who share these same struggles run to the Lord and allow him to be your strength in this battle. Let's fight this fight together and be the encouragement each other needs while we rely on our one true strength, Jesus Christ!
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